Post by Captain Morgan Barbossa on Aug 20, 2003 13:09:41 GMT -5
Tonight, on Intimate Portrait, we discuss the life and legacy of Jack the Crunchy Monkey.
(Heh heh....fooled ya, didn't I
)
Hello, and welcome to the show. Let's get started, shall we? Now, we all know about Jack the monkey. Or, at least, we think we know. Tonight, we will uncover the serects of her past, and let out some of the skeletons in her closet, so to speak...
Jack has a hard reputation to hold up to. As the most feared skeleton monkey in the Seven Seas, it's tough to stay ahead of the competition. In order to keep her title as Crunchy Monkey, Jack has to frighten, kill, and otherwise annoy all of her masters enemies, while still maintaining her perfect, furry appearance.
But it hasn't always been this way. No, Jack's youth was very different from the life she leads now. Growing up in the slums of the Amazon, Jack was the youngest of a family of 13. They didn't have much food, and Jack was occaisionally forced to eat one of her siblings to survive.
Her difficult childhood caught up with her in her teenage years, when she began partying and drinking to pass the time. She fell in with the "wrong crowd," and her life took a turn for the worse.
By age 19, Jack was an alcoholic, and depressed. She saw no future for her in the jungle, so she began looking for a way out. One day, while wandering the shores, Jack spotted a ship sailing not far off the coast. After a moments hesitation, she jumped into the water and swam toward her destiny.
Once on deck, she knew immediately that she had found her new home. She liked the rough-looking men and smell of the salt air, and quickly found her sea legs. For several days, she was forced to work like the rest of the crew, cleaning, swabbing the deck, cooking. Yet, her break first came when the Captain, a man called Barbossa, saw her trying to carry a heavy bucket of water, and stooped to help her up. I guess you could say it was love at first sight.
When asked to comment on the show, Jack had this to say. "Eeee, ooo aahaah eett!" and then threw a vase at us. We mostly figure that means "Thank you for doing my biography, here's a little token of my appreciation." Well, thank you too, Jack. And in case you're wondering, Al is still in the hospital, but they say the fever should die down in a few weeks. He says hi!
Alright, you know the rest of the story, now tell us what you think! The phone lines are open and we're awaiting our first callers now!
(Heh heh....fooled ya, didn't I
)Hello, and welcome to the show. Let's get started, shall we? Now, we all know about Jack the monkey. Or, at least, we think we know. Tonight, we will uncover the serects of her past, and let out some of the skeletons in her closet, so to speak...
Jack has a hard reputation to hold up to. As the most feared skeleton monkey in the Seven Seas, it's tough to stay ahead of the competition. In order to keep her title as Crunchy Monkey, Jack has to frighten, kill, and otherwise annoy all of her masters enemies, while still maintaining her perfect, furry appearance.
But it hasn't always been this way. No, Jack's youth was very different from the life she leads now. Growing up in the slums of the Amazon, Jack was the youngest of a family of 13. They didn't have much food, and Jack was occaisionally forced to eat one of her siblings to survive.
Her difficult childhood caught up with her in her teenage years, when she began partying and drinking to pass the time. She fell in with the "wrong crowd," and her life took a turn for the worse.
By age 19, Jack was an alcoholic, and depressed. She saw no future for her in the jungle, so she began looking for a way out. One day, while wandering the shores, Jack spotted a ship sailing not far off the coast. After a moments hesitation, she jumped into the water and swam toward her destiny.
Once on deck, she knew immediately that she had found her new home. She liked the rough-looking men and smell of the salt air, and quickly found her sea legs. For several days, she was forced to work like the rest of the crew, cleaning, swabbing the deck, cooking. Yet, her break first came when the Captain, a man called Barbossa, saw her trying to carry a heavy bucket of water, and stooped to help her up. I guess you could say it was love at first sight.
When asked to comment on the show, Jack had this to say. "Eeee, ooo aahaah eett!" and then threw a vase at us. We mostly figure that means "Thank you for doing my biography, here's a little token of my appreciation." Well, thank you too, Jack. And in case you're wondering, Al is still in the hospital, but they say the fever should die down in a few weeks. He says hi!
Alright, you know the rest of the story, now tell us what you think! The phone lines are open and we're awaiting our first callers now!
Jack the Crunchy Monkey
